pietriarchy:

the-fit-geek:

pietriarchy:

I feel like everyone worships avocado and I’m struggling because it just tastes like compressed wet grass lump but nobody will listen and I’m all alone in this world

Don’t mock my squishy hulk nuts

this is the worst thing that could’ve happened to this post

(via joshpeck)

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

arahir:

arahir:

arahir:

i’m reading a very manly 1950s account of a hunt for el dorado but i’m thirty pages in and the narrator has already described his traveling companion as “handsome” 4 times, “extremely handsome” twice, “exceedingly handsome” once, his voice as “quietly husky” and “a husky whisper,” his fingers as long and deft, his body as “tall and cat-like,” and his eyes as some variation of ice-blue at least three times.

just men being dudes. dudes being pals. it’s great. this is great.

“Ever since he had aimed that gun at my throat, I had liked him immensely. And now I liked him even better.”

oh my god

“I awoke when a beam of light fell across my eyes. Jorge had come into my room carrying a lighted candle.

‘I’m going with you,’ he said quietly.

‘I can’t pay you.’

He smiled. ‘I thought I was a partner?’”

OH MY GOD

according to apparently every adaptation of a search of el dorado, i think we can conclude that maybe the real el dorado was the homosexuality we found along the way

(via jojoshere)

granddoucheking:

me: *places the bar for my standards on the floor*

people I try to date: *dig a hole and go under bar*

officialburger:

im not like other teenagers, im 51

(via firedrill)

crownmeyourking:

conshence:

That awful moment when you wake up.

this happens to me like every day it’s annoying

(Source: snowfull, via lubricates)

2by2handsofblue:

abbadonallhope:

bitterassfandom:

onedirectionfangirlproblems:

usa gets silver:

russia gets silver:

chinese get silver:

british get bronze:

actually, it’s been psychologically proven that bronze winners are happier than silver winners! silver winners see themselves as being “so close” to gold, while bronze winners are just happy they won a medal. so any silver medalist isn’t as happy as a bronze medalist!

Canada gets silver:

ok but it’s canada

(Source: juvenialls, via oknope)

yungaquarius:

not now son, daddy’s trying to take a selfie

(via hotboyproblems)

144cm:

let’s be friends with benefits. the benefits? you get to be friends with me

(via joshpeck)

thatthreeanon:

burdmom:

annajiejie:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gallifrey-feels:

More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

I want to expound upon “comedians couldn’t get married” thing because it’s actually really interesting.

Satire was respected in Ancient Ireland. It was thought to have great power, enough to physically maim the subject one was making jokes about. Satirists could bring down kings with a witty enough insult. That was actually their original function. When the king didn’t do right by his people, a bard was supposed to compose a poem so scathing it would raise welts on the king’s skin to oust him (it was illegal for a “blemished” king to rule.) Unwarranted satire was considered a form of assault.

So what it boils down to is ancient Celts being like “These people are too dangerous to reproduce. DO NOT TRUST THEM WITH CHILDREN. EVER.”

whats a king to a bard

Thats literally a dnd skill

(Source: saltwaterandink, via hotboyproblems)